Welcome to Demelza Therapy
So much of parenting can feel like swimming upstream. Many of the parents I work with are exhausted from trying to keep from sinking, while yearning to actually enjoy being in the water with their children.
On the surface, they often look capable, as if they are swimming smoothly through life. Many are thoughtful, conscientious parents who care deeply and are trying incredibly hard to get things right. Yet underneath, they are kicking hard against currents of anxiety, self-doubt, overwhelm, perfectionism, guilt, and a relentless pressure to be enough.
Parenthood can hold deeply joyful moments, the kind we try to capture on camera because we already know how quickly they pass, like bubbles on the breeze.
But it can also bring unexpectedly deep currents that ask more of us than we ever imagined.
Many parents are carrying feelings they rarely speak about. The shame of losing their temper.
The resentment that can build when their own needs go unmet. The fear that they are somehow getting it wrong, or that they are struggling to keep up. Therapy with me offers a space where these experiences can be spoken about openly, explored with curiosity, and met with compassion rather than judgement.
And yet, within these moments, there is also the possibility of something different: something that feels less like holding everything together alone.
Therapy helps parents move from surviving to participating more fully in the life they already have, through greater courage, compassion and connection.
You don't have to spend the rest of your life treading water, desperately trying to stay afloat.
Together, we can begin to understand the currents that keep pulling you under, so that family life contains not only struggle and responsibility, but also more joy, connection, meaning, and moments when it feels good to be in the water.
I am a mum too, swimming in these ever-changing waters alongside you.
There is no judgement here. I genuinely believe we are all doing the best we can with the resources available to us.
Therapy is definitely a place to bring the really hard stuff of life, but with me there is also laughter. We play with metaphors that sometimes get stretched too far, and we make space for the contradictory and impossible expectations that society can place on us.
I believe many of the struggles we carry are shaped by the ways we learned to survive earlier in life, patterns that once helped us feel safe or manage expectations. Over time, these strategies can become outdated and begin to cause distress.
They can show up as thoughts we wish we did not have. Behaviours we wish we could stop. Feelings we wish would go away;
especially rage, resentment, and regret. These experiences can feel heavy, like rocks in a backpack as you try to keep swimming.
I will listen to your story, and try to tune into what life has felt like for you, not just what has happened, but what it has been like to live inside your story. I often slow things down so we can meet what is happening with empathy and curiosity, and begin to gently make sense of what might be going on beneath the surface.
I draw on psychodynamic, existential, humanistic, and body-based psychotherapy. This allows me to work flexibly, responding to the ebb and flow of life and what each person brings in the moment, rather than offering something fixed or formulaic.
This is an empathetic space where all of you matters: your childhood experiences, the way your body communicates, your relationships, your hopes, dreams, and deep values; all of you.
Courage, compassion, and connection with yourself can begin to grow here, because how we are with ourselves often shapes how we are with our children. Therapy with me becomes a space where you do not have to keep fighting the current alone.
Many of my clients come to therapy carrying a quiet sense that they are somehow falling short. They may feel caught between the person they are, the parent they want to be, and the relentless demands of everyday life.
Therapy with me is not about becoming a perfect parent. It is about developing a more understanding and compassionate relationship with yourself, so that you can participate more fully in your own life.
That said, you might be surprised how quickly the current of change begins to shift the shape of your riverbed.
Sometimes it starts with booking that first session.
Even reaching out can tell your body that something new is coming.
For many people, a little more space appears. A little more hope. A sense that they no longer have to carry everything alone.
This often grows as you begin to expect a regular space where you matter too.
Together, we get curious. We explore the experiences you have had and the stories you have told yourself as a result. We honour those stories and the reasons they came into being, while gently noticing where they may no longer fit quite so well.
Sometimes those stories need updating.
As they do, new perspectives begin to emerge.
New tributaries are created. New routes become available.
What once felt inevitable and stuck can begin to feel like a space where there is freedom to choose.
Therapy with me is gentle, and often these shifts begin in small, simple ways.
A growing sense of resilience: so that when a wave of family discord knocks you off course, you can go again with more confidence, and even have moments where it feels really good to be together.
The pressure to keep swimming non-stop softens. The tightness in your body as you fight to hold everything together relaxes.
Breathing in more compassion, for yourself and those you love.
Beginning to notice what is happening for you as it is happening, not just afterwards. Growing in awareness of your patterns, and in doing so, giving yourself more choice in how you respond to the rough waters of life.
Over time, these shifts often begin to show up in surprisingly ordinary ways.
Taking a walk after therapy.
Opening the window in the morning.
Taking annual leave and actually resting.
Getting the watercolours out.
Joining a choir.
Making space in your home that belongs to you.
These moments may seem small, but they often signal something profound.
A growing belief that your needs matter too.
Permission to take up space.
Permission to rest.
Permission to have needs.
Permission to create.
Permission to dive in and be fully present to the joy of the water.
And as these changes take root, they often ripple outward in surprising ways.
As parents become better able to express their needs, tolerate uncertainty, repair after conflict, rest, create, laugh, and show themselves compassion, their children witness these things too.
Children learn far more from what we embody than what we instruct.
When a parent deepens their belief that they matter too, they are not only changing their own life. They are modelling something important for the next generation:
That adults are allowed joy.
That adults are allowed creativity.
That needs matter.
That rest matters.
That life is not only about responsibility.
That we already have worth, and from that place we can keep growing.


I trained as an Integrative Therapist at the Minster Centre in London, and hold a Master's degree in Social Development and a BA in International Development from the University of East Anglia.
During my training and subsequent career, I have worked with women experiencing trauma and child loss, bereaved children and young people, adults facing a wide range of life challenges, humanitarian aid workers returning from areas of conflict and disaster, and young people navigating significant life transitions.
These experiences exposed me to grief, trauma, burnout, fear, resilience, and recovery in many different forms. They deepened my appreciation of the many ways people communicate, recover, and make sense of their experiences.
These stories are inside of me and have shaped how I understand resilience and courage.
Not as emotional toughness, but as the willingness to stay engaged with life. To keep showing up for what matters. To trust that when the waters become rough, we will find a way through.
To me, resilience is not about avoiding the rocks ahead. It is about trusting that we can respond to them when they appear.
Children learn this not from our perfection, but from our example.
Alongside my private practice, I have continued to build on this foundation through specialist training in complex grief, child loss, therapeutic parenting, attachment, play therapy, psychological first aid, trauma debriefing, and online counselling.
Since moving from London to Wales, I have volunteered as a therapist with Concern Cymru, providing online counselling for people across the UK. I continue to offer psychological debriefing for Tearfund and CMS (Church Mission Society), supporting people as they navigate and integrate significant life experiences.
Becoming a parent has deepened this understanding further.
It has given me a lived appreciation of how quickly we can move between joy and overwhelm, love and uncertainty, and how much courage it can take to just keep swimming.
I usually meet with clients weekly on Zoom.
Each session is £65 and lasts 50 minutes.
In our initial session we’ll talk about your story, what’s bringing you to therapy now, and how I can help.
We’ll also explore what you want from therapy. It may be a few sessions on a specific issue, or more ongoing support for your journey.
This initial session costs £90 and lasts an hour and a half.
However, if getting childcare cover for that length of time is a challenge we can spread this over two shorter sessions.


I am happy to discuss any queries or questions you may have prior to arranging an initial appointment. I offer a free 20 minute introductory call to give you a chance to ask any questions you might have, see if our diaries align and if we are a good fit.
For many people therapy is a new experience and that can be anxiety inducing. Also different types of therapy can feel different, so here is a taster of what it’s like to work with me.
I begin each session with "So" giving you the chance to see what is bubbling up within you at that moment. I will tune into where you are that day, and hold the bigger narrative of your story and hopes for your life going forward. I don't set homework. I trust the process of our therapeutic relationship to be supportive and grow your self-awareness even between sessions.
Empathically I tune into my clients trying to get a real sense of their unique life experiences and how they responded to them. Often I get images and metaphors that come to mind. That often make my clients laugh as they say “Yes! That’s exactly it!” Expressing the joy of feeling really seen and understood. These pictorial places of connection can become a shorthand between us in future sessions. This can be a very playful and creative way of working that increases the sense of safety between us. Alternatively they suggest a different image and we work with that. It really is a team endeavour.
The main modalities I draw on are Psychodynamic, Existential, Humanistic and Body psychotherapy. But the joy of being an Integrative Therapist is that I have many more ingredients in my kitchen, and I can use them in different ways. Psychosynthesis, Gestalt, CBT etc. all offer different flavours. Figuring out the right pace of the work is also a skill and a joint piece of work. So my clients are always free to opt out of any suggestions I make and we regularly have reviews to assess how we feel it's going.
This flexibility enables me to create a bespoke therapy for each client.
So there’s your taster. If you’d like to know what it is to be really nourished.
According to the most recent research online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy. (Therapy Today BACP Journal April 2024). The most important factor is the relationship between the therapist and the client.
This is why I do a free telephone call with all my clients before we begin so we can see if we're a good fit. It makes sense to me that since issues often arise through difficult relationships, that a healing relationship where you feel really valued would be the place for restoration.
One difference between working in person and online is that there is no commute or prepared space for you to arrive at for your therapy. Therefore it's worth taking a moment to read over my guide and prepare yourself and your space for our work together.
View my guide here.
My aim is to respond to emails within 24 hours during week days. We will then set up a time for our introductory 20 minute call as soon as our diaries align.
Usually the introductory session will then happen within the week. Next, we would arrange for counselling sessions to take place at the same time every week.
Everything that is said within the counselling room is private - this is one of the main ways counselling and therapy differ from talking to a friend or relative. Once you are comfortable with the format of weekly sessions and the safe space they provide, you will find the freedom to speak in confidence is of great value.
I am registered member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy). Part of my commitment as an ethical professional involves attending regular supervision. During supervision I will use your first name only to protect client anonymity.
I take my GDPR commitments very seriously and am registered with the ICO. I give all my clients my privacy agreement and keep all records according to the guidance of the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office).
Note that there are some situations where you may be a risk to yourself or others, and there the law requires that I notify an authority; in these cases I may not be able to keep total confidentiality. Breaking confidentiality is very rare though, and ideally only happens after the person concerned has been informed.
Ideally counselling is a time for you to invest in yourself. This can be more challenging when there is another person in the room needing your attention.
However, we don’t live in an ideal world. So, if you need to bring babe-in-arms to our sessions, they are welcome.
Over the years, I have worked with people facing profound trauma, grief, and loss. I have also worked with people whose struggles might appear much smaller from the outside.
These experiences taught me that worth was never the thing being measured in the first place. Our worth comes from being alive. It is not something that has to be earned, proved, or measured. We are all worthy of love and belonging. One of the joys of my work is seeing people discover this afresh.
Many people arrive in therapy feeling that their problems are not serious enough. They compare themselves to others and conclude that they should be coping better, that other people need support more, or that their struggles are somehow too small to matter.
That's not my perspective.
I often think of people as precious stones lying beneath the water. Life happens, and over time the water can become clouded. Anxiety, overwhelm, self-doubt, perfectionism, guilt, grief, responsibility, exhaustion, burnout, fear, and painful experiences stir up the mud until it becomes difficult to see clearly.
Some people have had more mud stirred into their waters than others. Some have spent years swimming against stronger currents.
But the stone beneath remains equally precious.
One of the great privileges of this work is helping the water settle.
As the mud begins to clear, people often reconnect with qualities that were never lost, only hidden from view for a while.
Not becoming someone new.
Simply seeing themselves more clearly again.
Family issues do not have to passed on to the next generation.
Supporting your children to raise the next generation is a significant part of the journey.
Parenting today can feel very different to when you were raising your children.
Such shifts in culture and technology can lead to families fighting and struggling to value what the other generations have to offer.
If these kinds of challenges sound familiar, email me.
You don’t have the power to change your family, but you do have the power to change the way you connect with them.