Therapy with me moves parents from surviving to participating more fully in the life they already have: through greater courage, compassion and connection.
Welcome to Demelza Therapy
So much of parenting can feel like swimming upstream.
It's so easy to get exhausted from trying to keep from sinking, while we are yearning to actually enjoy being in the water with our children.
On the surface, we often look capable, as though we are swimming smoothly through life. We are thoughtful, conscientious parents who care deeply and are trying incredibly hard to get things right.
Yet underneath, there can be a lot of kicking hard against currents of anxiety, self-doubt, overwhelm, perfectionism, guilt, and a relentless pressure to be enough.
Parenthood can hold deeply joyful moments, the kind we try to capture on camera because we already know how quickly they pass, like bubbles on the breeze.
But it can also bring unexpectedly deep currents that ask more of us than we ever imagined.
Many parents are carrying feelings they rarely speak about.
The shame of losing their temper.
The resentment that can build when their own needs go unmet.
The fear that they are somehow getting it wrong, or struggling to keep up.
Therapy with me offers a space to set some of that down.
A space where these experiences can be spoken about openly, explored with curiosity, and met with compassion rather than judgement.
A space to understand the currents beneath the surface, and to discover that you are not alone in these waters.
You don't have to spend the rest of your life treading water, desperately trying to stay afloat.
Together, we can begin to understand the currents that keep pulling you under.
Not so that life becomes perfect, but so that there is more space for joy, connection, meaning, and those moments when it simply feels good to be in the water with the people you love.
Little by little, many parents find themselves moving from simply surviving to participating more fully in the life they already have.
Come swim with me.
About Demelza: A Therapist to Overwhelmed Parents
I trained first in international development, not counselling. I wanted to be part of making the world more just, and I spent years in youth education and humanitarian work, including many years with Tearfund. What I loved most was never the programmes or the paperwork, it was sitting with people, really listening, and watching them find their way back to themselves.
I taught English and maths to teenagers who'd been pushed out of mainstream school, through bullying, illness, family breakdown or their own mental health struggles. What I actually gave them was something steadier: the sense that someone was in their corner, that their worries didn't have to be carried alone. Later, I worked with humanitarian aid workers and young people returning from difficult placements abroad, working through what they'd been through so it could shape their lives for good rather than quietly wearing them down.
I think the thread running through all of it is this: when we're hurting, we tend to hide it, because we don't want to burden anyone. And when someone else is hurting, we often don't know how to get close to it. Things get stuck in that gap. I find it genuinely moving to sit with someone in that stuck place and work out, together, a way forward that's actually theirs.
Why I became a therapist for overwhelmed parents
Becoming a mum myself has been the greatest honour of my life, and also far harder and more relentless than I expected. That's given me a real feel for what parents are carrying.
I watch so much love and effort go into parenting, and so many places where it gets stuck anyway. You don't control your children, they're their own people, and the things you most want to fix aren't always fixable by trying harder. I have enormous respect for parents who keep going back in anyway, who keep trying to reconnect, understand, repair.
I'm also drawn to the identity shake-up that comes with parenthood. I grew up moving between countries and had to keep working out who I was in each new place, so questions of identity and belonging have interested me for a long time. Becoming a parent is one of the biggest versions of that shift there is. One day you're mostly responsible for yourself, and then suddenly you're keeping someone else alive and helping them thrive.
What moves me most is how harshly parents judge themselves. Good parent, bad parent, as if it's that simple. There's so little grace in it. I want parents to have somewhere they can bring all of it, the pride and the shame, the love and the exhaustion, and be understood rather than graded.
What matters to me in therapy
If you came to me feeling ashamed and convinced you were failing, the first thing I'd do is slow things right down.
I might reflect back what you've told me, and then get curious about the fuller picture. How tired are you? What else has been happening? What story have you built about what someone else was thinking, that might not even be true?
I often think about soldiers who train carrying very heavy backpacks, so their ordinary kit feels light by comparison. Many of us are doing something similar in our own lives, carrying so much for so long that we stop noticing the weight. Part of the work is pausing to actually feel that backpack, and asking what's in it that doesn't need to be yours to carry.
I don't want to excuse something that needs addressing, but I don't want you to lose sight of your humanity either. Both things can be true. You snapped at your child, and you were also running on no sleep, carrying work pressure and a dozen other demands.
I'll gently challenge the idea that you're either succeeding or failing as a parent, because that kind of thinking leaves people stuck. We'll look at the whole picture: everyone out the door on time, dinner made, a load of washing done, and a kind message sent to a friend, alongside the harder moments. You're not one or the other. You're a person, doing a mixture of things well and less well, usually under real pressure.
What it's like to work together
There is no judgement here. I genuinely believe we're all doing the best we can with the resources we have.
I'm a mum too, swimming in these same ever changing waters alongside you. Therapy with me is definitely a place to bring the hard stuff of life, but there's laughter here too. We play with metaphors, sometimes stretching them further than they probably should go, and we make space for the contradictory, impossible expectations that get placed on parents.
I'm expressive. I laugh easily, and I talk with my hands so much that I position my camera deliberately so you can see them in online sessions. Clients have told me they like that about how I work.
I also remember your stories. I'll often bring something back weeks or months later, and clients tell me how deeply it makes them feel known, seen, heard and understood.
Sessions run for 50 minutes, and at the start I usually just say "so," and leave space for you to arrive, rather than picking up where we left off or filling the quiet. This is your space. You don't need to prepare anything.
Training, experience and registration
I hold a BA in International Development and an MA in Social Development, both from the University of East Anglia, and a Diploma in Integrative Counselling from The Minster Centre in London.
I'm a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP), membership number 386808.
My counselling experience began during training, with a placement at CARIS in Islington, a children's bereavement service, where I used play and creative approaches to help bereaved children and young people communicate experiences of grief and loss. Around the same time, I worked as a trainee therapist with Choices Islington, providing therapeutic support to women in Holloway Prison around trauma, unplanned pregnancy, pregnancy loss and separation from their children, including delivering The Journey, a psychoeducational programme on pregnancy, abortion, child loss and separation.
I went on to provide long term, one to one counselling at Crossroads Counselling in Tower Hamlets, a low cost counselling service, before launching my own online private practice, Demelza Therapy, in April 2021. Alongside my private practice, I worked with Concern Cymru, another low cost counselling service for adults, from 2023 to 2025.
Before training as a counsellor, I spent over fifteen years in international development and humanitarian work with Tearfund, including debriefing young people and aid workers after difficult experiences abroad. I now also offer specialist birth debriefing for people processing a difficult birth.
I draw on psychodynamic, existential, humanistic and body based psychotherapy. This lets me work flexibly, responding to the ebb and flow of life and whatever each person brings in the moment, rather than sticking to one set way of working.
This is an empathetic space where all of you matters: your childhood experiences, the way your body communicates, your relationships, your hopes, dreams and deep values, all of you.
What to know before you get in touch
I work online with adults across the UK, with appointments available during school hours.
Ideally, counselling is a time to invest in yourself, and that can be harder when there's another person in the room needing your attention. But we don't live in an ideal world, so if you need to bring a babe-in-arms to our sessions, they're welcome.
An initial 90 minute session is £120, and ongoing weekly 50 minute sessions are £75. I also offer a Birth Debriefing package of three sessions for £250.
If you're not sure whether we're a good fit, I offer a free 20 minute introductory call, so we can talk about what you're looking for before deciding anything.
I work mostly with parents, mothers most often though fathers and partners are equally welcome, who are working through anxiety, overwhelm, self doubt and perfectionism, and the way parenthood changes who you are. I also support people through grief, loss and other significant life transitions.
If what you've read here feels familiar, I'd love to hear from you.
Availability
I update this section regularly so you can see whether I currently have space for new clients.
Appointments are available online across the UK, primarily during school hours.
Current availability in November 2026 includes:
- Monday afternoons
- Tuesday mornings and afternoon
- Wednesday afternoons
- Thursday afternoons
If you're interested in ongoing therapy or Birth Debriefing, please get in touch to arrange a free 20-minute introductory call.
Contact Me
I am happy to discuss any queries or questions you may have prior to arranging an initial appointment. I offer a free 20 minute introductory call to give you a chance to ask any questions you might have, see if our diaries align and if we are a good fit.
Tell me a little about yourself and I'll be in touch to find a time for us to talk.
If you'd prefer to contact me directly feel free to email me: demelza.therapy@gmail.com
Frequently Asked Questions
For many people therapy is a new experience and that can be anxiety inducing. Also different types of therapy can feel different, so here is a taster of what it’s like to work with me.
I begin each session with "So" giving you the chance to see what is bubbling up within you at that moment. I will tune into where you are that day, and hold the bigger narrative of your story and hopes for your life going forward. I don't set homework. I trust the process of our therapeutic relationship to be supportive and grow your self-awareness even between sessions.
Empathically I tune into my clients trying to get a real sense of their unique life experiences and how they responded to them. Often I get images and metaphors that come to mind. That often make my clients laugh as they say “Yes! That’s exactly it!” Expressing the joy of feeling really seen and understood. These pictorial places of connection can become a shorthand between us in future sessions. This can be a very playful and creative way of working that increases the sense of safety between us. Alternatively they suggest a different image and we work with that. It really is a team endeavour.
The main modalities I draw on are Psychodynamic, Existential, Humanistic and Body psychotherapy. But the joy of being an Integrative Therapist is that I have many more ingredients in my kitchen, and I can use them in different ways. Psychosynthesis, Gestalt, CBT etc. all offer different flavours. Figuring out the right pace of the work is also a skill and a joint piece of work. So my clients are always free to opt out of any suggestions I make and we regularly have reviews to assess how we feel it's going.
This flexibility enables me to create a bespoke therapy for each client.
So there’s your taster. If you’d like to know what it is to be really nourished.
According to the most recent research online therapy is as effective as in-person therapy. (Therapy Today BACP Journal April 2024). The most important factor is the relationship between the therapist and the client.
This is why I do a free telephone call with all my clients before we begin so we can see if we're a good fit. It makes sense to me that since issues often arise through difficult relationships, that a healing relationship where you feel really valued would be the place for restoration.
One difference between working in person and online is that there is no commute or prepared space for you to arrive at for your therapy. Therefore it's worth taking a moment to read over my guide and prepare yourself and your space for our work together.
View my guide here.
My aim is to respond to emails within 24 hours during week days. We will then set up a time for our introductory 20 minute call as soon as our diaries align.
Usually the introductory session will then happen within the week. Next, we would arrange for counselling sessions to take place at the same time every week.
Everything that is said within the counselling room is private - this is one of the main ways counselling and therapy differ from talking to a friend or relative. Once you are comfortable with the format of weekly sessions and the safe space they provide, you will find the freedom to speak in confidence is of great value.
I am registered member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy). Part of my commitment as an ethical professional involves attending regular supervision. During supervision I will use your first name only to protect client anonymity.
I take my GDPR commitments very seriously and am registered with the ICO. I give all my clients my privacy agreement and keep all records according to the guidance of the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office). If you have any concerns about how I handle your data, please contact me via email with the subject line with the subject line 'Data Complaint'. I will then acknowledge your complaint within 30 days.
Subsequently, if you want to make a formal complaint about the way I have processed your personal information you can contact the Information Commissioner’s Office: https://ico.org.uk/make-a-complaint/.
Note that there are some situations where you may be a risk to yourself or others, and there the law requires that I notify an authority; in these cases I may not be able to keep total confidentiality. Breaking confidentiality is very rare though, and ideally only happens after the person concerned has been informed.
Ideally counselling is a time for you to invest in yourself. This can be more challenging when there is another person in the room needing your attention.
However, we don’t live in an ideal world. So, if you need to bring babe-in-arms to our sessions, they are welcome.
Over the years, I have worked with people facing profound trauma, grief, and loss. I have also worked with people whose struggles might appear much smaller from the outside.
These experiences taught me that worth was never the thing being measured in the first place. Our worth comes from being alive. It is not something that has to be earned, proved, or measured. We are all worthy of love and belonging. One of the joys of my work is seeing people discover this afresh.
Many people arrive in therapy feeling that their problems are not serious enough. They compare themselves to others and conclude that they should be coping better, that other people need support more, or that their struggles are somehow too small to matter.
That's not my perspective.
I often think of people as precious stones lying beneath the water. Life happens, and over time the water can become clouded. Anxiety, overwhelm, self-doubt, perfectionism, guilt, grief, and painful experiences stir up the mud until it becomes difficult to see clearly.
Some people have had more mud stirred into their waters than others. Some have spent years swimming against stronger currents.
But the stone beneath remains equally precious.
One of the great privileges of this work is helping the water settle.
As the mud begins to clear, people often reconnect with qualities that were never lost, only hidden from view for a while.
Not becoming someone new.
Simply seeing themselves more clearly again.
Family issues do not have to passed on to the next generation.
Supporting your children to raise the next generation is a significant part of the journey.
Parenting today can feel very different to when you were raising your children.
Such shifts in culture and technology can lead to families fighting and struggling to value what the other generations have to offer.
If these kinds of challenges sound familiar, get in touch.
You don’t have the power to change your family, but you do have the power to change the way you connect with them.
You are never under pressure to continue counselling. When you begin to feel the work is drawing to an end, or if you don’t think it is working for you, I encourage you to discuss this with me as part of the counselling process. Rather than ending abruptly: it is best to have goodbye sessions where we can review our work; celebrate your achievements and plan how you can support yourself in the future.
If at any time I feel that counselling is no longer helpful or appropriate for you, I will discuss this with you.
As a BACP registered counsellor, I am bound by its Ethical Framework for Good Practice and am subject to its complaints procedure. Both are available on their website: www.bacp.co.uk. If you wish to make a complaint or raise a concern about my practice, please bring the issue to the sessions so we could talk about it together.